Erin and I rang in 2010 in Chandler, Arizona with our friends Aaron, Carrie and Jordan (five years old) Schmidt, whom we hadn’t seen since our wedding in June 2008.  As part of the trip, Erin and I visited the Grand Canyon and stayed at the El Tovar Hotel along the South Rim.  Despite Erin’s protestations, we awoke to watch the sunrise.  As the Canyon lightened, I was blown away by the enormity and splendor of the vista.  It had been snowing when we arrived, so sunrise was the first glimpse I had of the Canyon.  I was not disappointed.  We went to the lodge for breakfast, all the while planning for a hike to enjoy the view from other locations.  When we emerged from the lodge a short time, the snow had picked up again.  The sunrise view was the only one we would catch of the Grand Canyon; this time, at least.

Erin and I continued our tradition of treating ourselves to a holiday dinner at one of New York City’s finest restaurants.  This year, we opted for Jean Georges.  We had originally scheduled a reservation for late December, but illness required us to postpone our visit.  On Thursday, January 6^th, we sat down for an epic meal.   We order two different tasting menus – with wine pairings – and swapped plates midway through each course.  Unlike at Daniel, where we were rushed through the meal, we were given plenty of time to enjoy the experience.  (It helped that we chatted with the captain once we were seated, telling him of the special occasion and alluding to our previous disappointment.)  The service was spectacular.  The wine was superb!  The food was magnificent!!!  In my opinion, Per Se was only slightly better; likely because it was my first ultra-fine dining experience.  Had Jean Georges been the first, our ranking system might look a little different.  FOUR STARS!  We’ve now dined at four of the seven New York Times 4-star restaurants.   My current ranking would be: Per Se, Jean George, Eleven Madison Park, Daniel.

I woke Monday, January 11^th, to what I thought would be a normal day.  Little did I know that my life would be forever changed from that morning on.  Erin told me, just after I woke, that she had found one of my Christmas presents she had forgotten to give me.  I opted to shower before opening it.  When I opened my gift, I had no idea what it was.  It was a very small piece of yellow clothing with a guy with an 70s-style Afro on it.  Confused, I asked her, “Who is this? OJ???”  “There’s a baby! I’m pregnant!”  It was a onesie with a photoshopped picture of President Obama on it that said, “Obama Rama.”  I’ve never been happier in my life than I was at that moment.  A doctor visit shortly thereafter confirmed the news.  Our baby was due in mid-September.

The early part of 2010 brought a lot of travel; both for fun and for work.  For Erin’s birthday, I planned a surprise getaway to Newport, RI.  We stayed in a lovely bed & breakfast, toured The Breakers (Cornelius Vanderbilt’s mansion), ate a terrific meal at Bouchard, the #1 rated restaurant in Newport and walked around a very quaint and empty (in winter) seaside town.   I once again toured extensively with Peter Schickele on his PDQ Bach tour.  We visited Goshen (IN), Austin (TX), Kill Devil Hills (NC), Kerrville and Houston (TX), Princeton and Englewood (NJ), Davis and San Francisco (CA).  The San Francisco stop allowed me to finally see the Bay Area.  Kevin, my youngest brother, flew out to join me for the weekend to celebrate finishing his degree in Geology.  We had a blast riding the cable cars, wine tasting in Napa, walking along Pier 33.  It was the most time we had spent alone together in years, and it was fantastic.

Much of the rest of late spring/early summer was spent readying for baby.  We decided to renovate our one bedroom condo to add a nursery for him/her.  We made the decision early on that we weren’t going to learn the sex of the baby.  We did, however, have the ultrasound technician put the verdict in a sealed envelope “just in case” we changed our minds on this.  Luckily, we didn’t and the envelope remains sealed to this day.  We’ll put it away for our little girl (more on her later!) to open one day.  We also set up an extravagant system to name our child.  While in Newport, we bought a copy of “100,000 Baby Names” and decided to each go through the volume separately to select seven boy names and seven girl names.  We would then initiate high-level negotiations to pick the winners.  Rules were established.  Nothing in the Top 50 most popular names.  No name that ends with an “E” vowel sound.   Though the task was daunting, we made it through and ended up having fun with it in the end.

Since Erin was expecting, we opted to rent a lake house for a few summer weekends instead of taking an involved vacation.   We found an adorable one in Lake Arial, PA, where we spent three weekends in June.  We also found a lovely one in Lake Shawnee, NJ where spent one additional weekend in July.  My parents, George and Kay, and some friends (Jodi, Dan, Tony, Kelly, Amanda, Jorge, Talia, Kenny, Tom and Jenny) joined us.  We fished, sang songs, grilled meats, roasted marshmallows, and drank into the night.  It was grand.

The summer flew by in anticipation of mid-September.  We continued to ready the apartment; painting the walls of the nursery, building a custom closet unit, deciding on name(s), buying baby stuff.  We opted for one primary and – at the advice of my friend Elena – one backup name for each sex.   Erin’s girlfriends threw us a baby shower in our Hoboken apartment.  Our moms threw us one in Pottsville.  By the end of August, with the searing heat of summer bearing down, we were – Erin especially – more than ready for baby to arrive.

According to our doctor, baby was due on September 13^th.  According to our ultrasound technician, s/he was due on September 17^th.  By Erin’s calculations, it was September 19^th.  Regardless, we anxiously counted the days.  On September 11^th – the 9 year anniversary of a horrible day in American history – Erin and I went to the Italian Festival along the waterfront in Hoboken.  The beams of light shone from the site of the World Trade Center as we walked home that evening.  I think we both knew somehow that baby was about to arrive.

Erin’s first contractions started early on the morning of 9/12.  I started timing them, keeping a notebook of the length and time in between.  We called the doctor.  He told us to wait.  We waited until about 4:00 a.m. and then left for the hospital.  They admitted Erin and we went to the maternity ward.  Erin was not far enough along yet to be fully admitted, so they made us walk the hallways.  We did so for about an hour; the contractions continued.  Finally, Erin was moved into a delivery room.  We continued to wait.  The rest of the day seems a blur now.  But at 5:18 p.m. on Sunday, September 12^th, Sloane Helen Dougherty arrived.  I was in complete awe of her, of the experience, of my beautiful wife.  At her birth, I didn’t cry.  (I had teared up repeated thinking about it.)  I had to be reminded by the nurse to get the camera to start taking pictures.  So I did.  And suddenly I was a dad.  My tears waited for the moment when I held her.  Seated in a chair a few feet from Erin, I held Sloane in my arms.  As I was talking to her, she lifted her gorgeous little face toward my voice and opened her eyes.   That moment will be forever etched in my memory.  Tears of joy then began to flow.

Honestly, the new few weeks were a blur.  I spent a week at home with the girls before heading back to work.  Erin bore the brunt of the sleepless nights and the late night feedings.  I tried my best to contribute: I cooked, cleaned the dishes, did laundry, kept the house clean.  I felt useless sometimes.  Erin was a rock star who took to motherhood beautifully.  It has been really amazing to watch.  After a couple weeks, we began to have visitors over to meet Sloane.  We even started a Facebook photo album for Sloane and her new friends.  Alan Arak was her first entry in this album.

The rest of the year can be summed up like this: I love being a dad.  There are singing gigs, and work events (new President of Rockefeller, for example).  But these all seem somehow secondary to our little girl.  As I write this, she’s napping in her crib.  She started daycare this week.  She smiles and laughs a lot now.  She seems to be finding her voice; even seems to be trying to sing with me when I sing to her.  She loves to stand.  She loves her Big Bird doll and her Rainforest jumperoo.  She may be the most photographed child in history.  I’m still in awe of her, nearly four months later.

Thanks for an amazing year, 2010.  I can’t wait to see what 2011 will bring!

Notable and Noteworthy

Gigs:

• PDQ shows nationwide.
• Cantatas in Context with Orchestra of St. Lukes.
• Greek Easter with Dino Anagnost
• Voices of Ascension
• Mostly Mozart Festival
• High Holy Days at Temple Emanu-el
• Elijah with the New York Philharmonic
• Messiah with Musica Sacra

Eating and Drinking Experiences:

• Jean Georges
• Bouchard (Newport, RI)
• Cocktails at Absinthe in San Francisco
• Dogfish Head Promo Night at Toast
• Keen’s Steakhouse with the Boys
• Spice Market anniversary dinner
• Harpoon Brewery Night at The Pony Bar
• Fried Chicken Dinner at Momofuku

“No! She’s beautiful!” I replied.

“It’s a boy.  Girls steal your beauty.”

Everyone has an opinion – yet only one person knows – if it’s a boy or a girl.  And that person isn’t one of us.  The ultrasound technician at Palisades Medical Center knows.  The envelope, sealed and stapled shut, knows.  But neither the technician nor the paper envelope are talking.

Baby’s arrival is getting closer by the day.  As of this past Monday, he/she is technically at term.  It can be at any time.

“Are you ready?” is a question bouncing around in my bean lately.  In many ways, I am as ready as I think I can be.  The nursery is built, the crib is assembled, the baby clothes are hanging in the newly-built closet.  The to-do list has dwindled considerably.  True, we don’t yet have life insurance. I still need to complete the edits on our wills.  But if baby decides to arrive today, we have all we need physically to care for him/her.   But while we are waiting for this arrival, perhaps the hardest part so far is getting ready emotionally and mentally.

It’s a scary thing this impending fatherhood.  I’m 35 and set in my ways.  I like my routine.  I like the freedom of meeting the work pals for happy hour at the Faculty Club.  I like the option of planning Momofuku Fried Chicken dinners, or impromptu oyster nights.  This will soon all change, I know.  I feel like a dick typing this.  I certainly don’t mean to sound like I’m regretful.  I feel selfish.  But this is where my mind goes.  I know for a fact that our lives with change dramatically, yet the reality of this change is unclear to me right now.   It’s a great unknown and I’m scared.  Until I meet this child and it looks up at me – and despite the pointy bulges in Erin’s belly and the epic hiccups like those baby had this morning – it’s all an abstract.

So, I wait.  And I wonder.  While we wait, we field opinions and guesses on boy or girl.

Even the ferry guy Cosmo has one: “So anyway, it’s a boy!”  He, like everyone else, has a 50/50 shot at being right.

The BIG DAY is getting closer.  At Erin’s last OB appointment, the doctor informed us that if “labor started now, we won’t stop it.”  Obviously, that means our baby is fully formed and ready to live in the big, bad outside world.  The rest of his/her time in the womb is fine-tuning systems and gaining weight.

On the outside, I am calm in the face of this extraordinary change that Erin and I are about to experience.  On the inside, it’s a different story.  My head is filled with thoughts on the changes ahead.  For the first time in my life, I have the occasional heart palpitation – little flutters and skipped beats, usually in bed at night – that belie my external calm.  I know it’s nothing serious, but I guess I’m more stressed than even I think I am.

Those who know me personally know how much – and for how long – I look forward to becoming a father.   I’ve long dreamed of watching Phillies/Eagles games with my little boy/little girl in my arms or on my knee.  I’ve recently daydreamed of playing whiffle ball in the yard or pushing a swing in Elysian Park.  The mere thought of watching my son or daughter reel in his or her first sunfish is bringing tears to my eyes as I type this.  Not to be crass, but this is a big fucking deal.

Some things have surprised me with this process.  I never realized before we were expecting how much one has to contemplate his own death when a new child is coming into the world.  Life insurance and the writing of wills become extremely important.  Even though I’m happily married, I’ve never had another human being completely dependent upon me.  Come September – or sooner – I will.  The issue of religion is a challenging one, also.  I grew up going to church – attending Sunday School and Vacation Bible School at the Mennonite Chapel early in life – and later attending services at the Methodist church.  It was a part of my upbringing and certainly contributed to my moral development.  As an adult, however, I am ambivalent about religion.  I was a professional church-goer for much of my adult life.  Church was a job.  I was paid to sing and read a magazine during the sermon.  What’s more, so much of the stuff that I disagree with politically – the bigotry of the religious right against gays, particularly – is propagated by churches.   I guess at this point in my life, I would classify myself as an agnostic.  I do sincerely hope there this a God and a Heaven, but I admittedly have doubts.  How can I teach my child something I don’t necessarily believe in?  Then again, how can my child form their own opinions about religion – as both Erin and I did – without going in the first place?  Clearly, I’m still grappling with this.

I’m sure we’ll find our way.

In the mean time, I have some social events to plan before the new baby arrives.  There will be a Phillies game against the Mets.  There will be post-rehearsal drinks with Rod and the boys.  As a very wise Alan stated previously, there will be beer.  And soon I’ll be a dad.

That still blows my mind.

A few of my more  industrious friends  send an “end of the year” letter in which they recall the triumphs, tribulations and mundanity of their personal years.  Some of these, I’ll admit, are incredibly boring; others are rather enlightening.  Having never written one myself, I figured this is as good a year as any to try to write my own.  Follow me over the fold for “2008 – A Year in Review.”As I sit just days away from the end of an incredibly eventful year, I’m not exactly sure how to sum it all up.  I guess I’ll have to start at the beginning, but make no promises I’ll stay chronological.

Erin and I rang in the year 2008 in Hoboken with our dear friends Cheryl and Aram.  It was a mellow beginning.  We played Wii, drank some beers, and walked home to our little 1BR apartment on 14th Street.  For Christmas, Erin gave me an  amazing dinner at Per Se restaurant – details here.  We went on January 15th.  It was simply the most phenomenal dining experience of my life – 13 courses and over three hours in length! – and the perfect way to celebrate the beginning of the new year.

Dining out is one Erin and my favorite hobbies, and we had several pretty spectacular dining experiences over these 12 months.  We celebrated two NYC Restaurant Weeks  – one of Erin’s favorite twice-yearly events – and likely spent entirely too much money on food and drink.  Some of our faves this year were, in no particular order: Per Se, L’Ecreole French Culinary School, Otto, Stanton Social, Park Avenue Summer, Eleven Madison Park, Cielo by Angela Hartnett, Tabla, Ouest, and Daniel.

My singing career rolled along this year.  Until my “retirement” from church singing in May, I was part of the professional octet at Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church.  Notable gigs this past year included four performances with Voices of Ascension, soloist in a concert of American songs with The Dessoff Choirs, two appearances with The Choir of St. Ignatius, tenor soloist with Clarion Music Society, and three engagements with the New York Philharmonic – Tosca, West Side Story at Carnegie (A-Rab!), and Elektra.

In June, I was promoted at Rockefeller University from Administrative Assistant to Board Relations and Academic Programs Associate.  For the first time in my life, I actually asked for – and received – this promotion and subsequent pay increase.  I felt very grown up!

Late in 2007, Erin and I started checking out the Hoboken real estate scene.  What began as going to the occasional open house morphed into showings with Jen Angeli, our broker and friend based in Hoboken.  We half-heartedly looked at several apartments – many fourth and fifth floor walk ups – and thought our search wouldn’t turn serious until October or November. That all changed one random Sunday in April.  Jen Angeli – while apologizing for “bothering” me so early – called about a place on 9th and Garden Streets in Hoboken that “may be perfect for (us). “  Intrigued, we went to see it.  We noticed right away that this place was very different from the others.  It was airy and spacious, was  on the first floor, and it had a backyard!  We both loved it.  With a pretty large event coming up in June  – more details to follow! – I shrugged my shoulders and said, “It’s too bad this place won’t  be available when we’re ready to actually buy something.”  I learned a valuable lesson about Erin that day – if she wants something badly enough, she will get it!  The morning after we saw the apartment, she woke me up with the words, “I think we should buy that apartment.”  I agreed to go meet with Joe Dunn, mortgage specialist, that night.  Before the week was out – and with a lot of help from Mom and Dad, 401ks, etc. – we were buying a condo!   We closed on May 30th, moved the next day.  I felt VERY grown up!

2008 also contained the single happiest day of my life – June 28th.  On that sunny, early summer day, I married Erin Christine Kerler.  Despite the heat, our day was absolutely perfect.  Our friends sang for us, read for us, preached to us (Reverand Al!), and celebrated with us.   We wrote our own vows, bet on the Newlywed Classic, danced with our Moms and Dads, and partied into the night.  In all, a perfect, spectacular, wonderful day.

After our wedding, Erin and I planned a very active honeymoon.   We left on Monday morning for three days relaxation at the Boca Resort in Florida before heading to an eco-friendly trip to Peru.  The Peruvian portion was intended to be in two parts – five days at Reserva Amazonica along the Madre de Dios River in the Peruvian rainforest, and then four more days at Macchu Picchu.    We spent the Amazon portion hiking trails, sipping Pisco Sours, checking out amazing wildlife, and searched in vain for a jaguar.  Our perfect honeymoon came to a bit of a screeching halt by striking Peruvian workers.  Making a long story short, we left Peru a few days early and spent the last part of our “happy moon” at the TriBeca Grand hotel in New York, vacationing in our own city.

I spent a huge portion of 2008 following presidential politics.   I became, in late 2007, an ardent Barack Obama supporter.  Political discussions – and arguments – became commonplace at the lunch table at Rockefeller.  On the Obama side, Amanda joined me.  Andy, Alex and Beth sat on the Hillary side.  Rarely did conversations really boil over, but conversations often became quite spirited.  After Obama secured the nomination, the Hillary supporters among my circle eventually came along.  Beth Fitzgerald, my brother Matt and I volunteered in Pottsville the weekend before the general election to help get out the vote for Barack.  Before that, I wrote a letter to my extended family encouraging them to vote for him.  This was the most involved I have ever became in politics.  Most of my family DID end up voting for Obama, so I think my letter helped!

Just before Election Day, one other momentous event happened to complete the “Year of Brian” tri-fecta.  My beloved Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series for the first time in 28 years!  The completion of a suspended (by rain) Game Five happened on October 29, the same date as one of the Voices of Ascension concert.  As soon as the concert ended, I ran to a local bar with Charles, Heather, Scott and others to catch the final inning.   As Brad Lidge struck out the final batter, I jumped to my feet screaming.  I high-fived a Red Sox fan, and endured a little light-hearted ribbing from my friends.   To quote Chase Utley, my Phillies were “World FUCKING Champions!”

On the family front, Matt and Michelle announced that they are expecting their second child – a girl to be named Norah – in late January, early February.  Kevin enrolled at Bloomsburg University to finish his degree.   Both Mom and Dad are doing well.  Dad officially retired from Reading Anthracite Company; Mom continues to work as a Surgical Nurse at the Schuylkill Medical Center.  Ewan, turned 1 year old on December 13th.  My parents are having a blast being grandparents.

As I write this on December 20th, Erin and I are looking forward to my first church job-free Christmas in 12 years.  We plan to spend Christmas Eve and Day with my family in Pottsville, and then two days with Erin’s family.  On December 28th, we head to Tampa, FL to depart on our 7-day Western Carribean cruise.  We’ll ring in 2009 at sea, and will be sure to raise a glass to an extraordinary year just past.

The gay marriage issue, as evidenced by this conversation, boils down to the wrongly-held belief that being gay is a choice.

Check it out:

Well done, Mr. Olbermann.

But one place I’ve encountered conservative vitriol is the wonder that is Facebook.  One now-ex friend on FB – we’ll call him E – and I had some rather spirited discussions during this election season.   I received the following message from him late last night:

You’re the stupid asshole who is blinded by his hatred of Bush and the Republicans. You and the rest of America drank the Kool Aid. The man has no experiene. I’ve been an assistant soccer for as long as he’s been in the Senate. I’m not qualifeid to be the National team coach and he isn’t qualified to be president. Just like Biden said, our country will face an international crisis in the 1st six months of his presidency because nobody his afraid of him bedause he is gutless. He has spoken on 3 different occassions about his muslim faith, standing by the Muslims and defending Palestine but each time he was misunderstood. Give me a fucking break. He is friends with known terrorist and anarchist Bill Ayres. He wants socialist health care. He wants to tax small business and give the money to the poor. That’s Marxist. He wants to limit what the press can say (the media who kissed his ass). Government controlled press is communism. When you have your freedoms curbed, it will be your own damn fault. Of course all the stuff I said will be ignored by you. A brick wall has more common senses. Obama won’t last 8 years. He kill the country long before then

I actually laughed out loud at the “freedoms curbed” line.  Wasn’t it the Bush Administration – and the REPUBLICANS – that pushed the Patriot Act?  The idiocy seems to know no bounds.

Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States…and I couldn’t be happier.

It’s been some respectful campaign you’ve run, Senator.